Series: Aura Essentials | Topic: Career/Workplace | Free Guide Available!
Have you ever had a manager who was missing in action most of the time, passive-aggressive when present, undermining you at every turn, only to suddenly show up cheerful and eager to hear your ideas when it benefits them? Or maybe you’ve had a coworker who smiles in your face but positions you negatively behind the scenes?
I have. And it was one of the most frustrating experiences of my career.
When I first started my current job, my direct coworker welcomed me with the warmth we all hope for on our first day. But within a few days, things shifted from welcoming to…weird. My boss disappeared for my first two weeks without a word, leaving me without proper guidance. Meanwhile, my coworker, who was tasked with onboarding me, but without a clear plan, began overstepping in ways that felt overwhelming and intrusive. It created a strange dynamic: a manager who was absent and disengaged, and a coworker who was overly involved and attentive.
I tried to focus on the work itself. I raised important issues with my manager, things that directly impacted quality and compliance. Instead of being heard, I was met with passive-aggressive comments or brushed off completely. Weeks later, when those same issues required fixing, my exact suggestions were quietly folded into the solution without acknowledgment. That stung.
To make matters worse, the same coworker who initially seemed helpful and approachable gradually turned into a gatekeeper. They’d tell others not to “bother me” (even when I was available) while simultaneously reporting back to my manager about things I said. It created a toxic cycle where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, wondering how dismissive my manager might be that day and how my coworker might twist my words next.
But here’s the shift I had to make: I stopped asking, What’s going to happen next? and started reminding myself, My value is not defined by whether others acknowledge me, or try to undermine me. I learned to anchor myself, protect my peace, and still show up with excellence.
And that’s exactly what I want to share with you. If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, here are nine strategies that helped me, and can help you, stay grounded and protect your confidence at work:
1. Start from the Inside: Make the Mental Shift
When workplace dynamics turn toxic, the instinct is often to go on the defensive. But reacting emotionally rarely helps. Instead, step back, observe, and strategize. Think of it like playing the “game” of office politics, not to manipulate, but to protect yourself and position your value wisely.
2. Document Everything...Your Experiences, and Most Importantly, Your Wins
Keep a running log of your experiences, contributions, ideas, and accomplishments. This isn’t about keeping score, it’s about protecting your narrative. If you ever need to advocate for yourself in performance reviews, HR meetings, or future opportunities, you’ll have a clear record of your impact and results.
3. Share Ideas Strategically
Not every observation needs to be shared in every meeting. Protect your energy by choosing where and how to contribute. When you do share, make sure the right people are in the room or copied on the email. That way, your input is harder to erase and your value is visible.
4. Detach Emotionally
Your coworker’s insecurities or your manager’s mood swings aren’t your responsibility. Anchor your confidence in your skills, not in their approval. By detaching from the need for constant validation, you reclaim control over how you feel day to day.
5. Communicate with Calm Confidence
When you’re asked for updates at the last minute, or put on the spot in a meeting, respond clearly, calmly, and professionally. Your steady tone signals confidence and authority, making it harder for others to dismiss or discredit you.
6. Prioritize Your Well-Being
Toxic workplace dynamics can take a toll on your energy, focus, and even your health. Use your breaks wisely: step outside, practice deep breathing, journal, connect with supportive friends, or simply disconnect from the tension. Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish, it’s essential for your long-term career and peace of mind.
7. Deliver On-Time, Exceptional Work
One of the most powerful ways to protect your confidence at work is to let your performance speak for itself. When your projects are thorough, timely, and high quality, it becomes much harder for others to discredit you. Consistency builds credibility, and credibility builds influence, even in toxic environments.
8. Decide What You Want and Plan Accordingly
At some point, you’ll need to decide whether the environment you’re in is serving you. Do you want to grow here despite the challenges, or is it time to move on? Either decision is valid. What matters is being intentional. When you know what you want, you can plan strategically, whether that means networking for your next role, upskilling, or using this job as a stepping stone.
9. Keep Making the Shift
Navigating toxic dynamics isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a continuous practice. Some days you’ll feel strong, and other days you’ll feel drained. The key is to keep realigning: remind yourself of your worth, adjust your strategies, and choose to rise above negativity. The more you practice this shift, the easier it becomes to hold your ground.
The Bigger Picture
Thriving in the workplace isn’t just about climbing the ladder or impressing leadership. It’s about navigating challenges without losing yourself. Staying grounded in your worth allows you to rise above pettiness, power plays, and toxic dynamics.
Because your confidence doesn’t belong to them, it belongs to you. And when you own it fully, you not only survive difficult environments, you thrive despite them.
✨ Aura Essentials takeaway: Confidence at work isn’t about controlling others, it’s about mastering how you show up and focusing on what benefits you, even when the dynamics are less than ideal.
MUST-HAVE RESOURCES:
SELF-GUIDED JOURNALS
21-DAY GUIDE TO RESET, REFOCUS, RADIANTE : PREVIEW
